When my inner turmoil is too much to meditate, transmogrifying it into words is the next best thing.
Right now, the recurring theme seems to be uncertainty.
I’ve noticed the word keeps appearing as my thoughts leap from one anxiety to another.
Uncertainty about my work – Doubting my choices is a slippery slope down a self-worth spiral.
Uncertainty about the new people in my life – And how to nurture the old friendships I still treasure.
Uncertainty about feelings – How people feel about me, of course, but also how I feel about them; discerning between “phantom feelings” and knowing when it’s real.
Uncertainty about what I want – Being single again after two years means taking just enough time to process the experience while still keeping my heart open.
Uncertainty about whether I’m safe – With Trump at the helm of our foreign affairs and the stirrings of an all-out race war on the home front, our days as the most powerful nation on Earth are surely numbered.
Uncertainty about Hurricane Irma – Barreling toward my home state of Florida with the day it’s scheduled to hit being the exact same day I’m planning to fly out of MIA for a month-long adventure.
Uncertainty about my trip – The thrilling prospect of backpacking through Europe with two of my oldest friends in itself is full of variables that make my controlling mind churn.
I could go on, but the format is getting tired, and you get the picture.
How to Deal with Uncertainty
The chilling reality is that nothing is certain, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.
Not the roof over your head, not your God, not your career, not your lover, and certainly not your future.
You can do all the right things and still wake up one unremarkable day to discover you have cancer.
Our lives are founded on uncertain foundations, built on blind optimism in a chaotic and indifferent universe.
We were born, for one uncertain reason or another, and it is only our debt to creation demanding we try to live purposefully.
The nihilist in me is on mute, but still points frantically proverbial charts and graphs outlining my ultimate demise:
The numbers don’t lie.
But what choice do any of us have but to keep putting one foot in front of the other?
Hopelessness is not a place to live – The journey becomes you.
With little more that can be said on the matter, I leave you with one of my all-time favorite quotes:
“It is no measure of good health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
-Jiddu Krishnamurti
2 replies on “On Dealing with Uncertainty”
Hi– Certainly part of the feminine mind is allowing the flow of not knowing how something will work out that it just does! At least at key moments this occurs – subconsciously, in most of us. But you do go much deeper because your driven, driven with what no one else can provide but you – A burning desire. These elements, a burning desire and common sense, are not a given. ***Most are not like you or I for this matter – classic overachievers, lol But here is what I feel compelled to say to point out: The answers are not inside yourself, your own truth, etc. This in and of itself becomes the religion, does it not? yes! The answer is in the unchangeable God of all creation, in which we move and have our being.
Kristine – Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I had to stop for a moment to really think about this idea that dealing gracefully with uncertainty is a feminine power… I don’t disagree with the perception, but I’m not entirely sure I agree that it is an innate trait (and not a learned behavior.) In any case, you’re right that there must be something grander guiding this journey… I must learn to sit back and things unravel as they may!
CR